Having just experienced several months of "interesting", to say the least, negotiations on several matters, it got me thinking about creating a list of things to do if you really don’t want to settle your case. Hey, every body is entitled to their day in court if they want it. So what if there is nothing that can be gained from it. So what if you can’t win. So what if forcing the matter to trial will create other legal issues. So what if trial will cost tens of thousand of dollars. Here is the list:
10. Ignore your expert’s advice. What do they really know about the value of your business or how a judge will likely assess your total income/cash flow? What does an accountant know about taxes, or more importantly, how the IRS may address the creative accounting practices that you or your business have employed? What does the custody expert really know?
9. Ignore your lawyer’s advice. What do they know anyway? If your lawyer is telling you that you should jump at the deal on the table because it looks like a huge win, disregard it. If they tell you that you have real exposure on certain issues or may be forced to pay your spouses legal fees, roll the dice. If your attorney tells you that they are willing to try your case, but that you should consider settlement because the cost of the settlement will be less than the cost of the trial plus the absolute minimum you have to pay, don’t believe it. And what does your lawyer know about the law or the judge anyway?
8. Ignore the facts of your case. Trust your ability to spin the facts in a way that doesn’t make sense. Plus, how can they prove if you’re lying.
7. Ignore what the neutrals are saying. What do the Early Settlement Panelists know? What does the mediator know? When the judge has a settlement conference and gives directions, what does she/he know? Assume that the people that have no "horse in the race" are aligned with your spouse or their attorney, have been bought off, or are just plain ignorant. Really, it has nothing to do with the facts of your case or the reasonableness of your position.
6. Ignore the law. It doesn’t apply to you anyway.
5. Continue to misrepresent things, even when the other side has documents to disprove virtually everything you are saying. Assume that you will be deemed more credible than the documents.
4. Believe that the imbalance of power that existed during the marriage will allow you to bully your spouse into an unfair settlement. Assume that your spouse’s attorney wont try protect her/him. All lawyers roll over on their clients, right?
3. Take the position that you would rather pay your lawyer than your spouse. Ignore that fact that this tactic usually ends with your doing both, and maybe your spouse’s lawyer too.
2. Pretend as if your spouse never spent a second with the kids in the past and has no right to do so in the future. Make false allegations of neglect or abuse. Ignore the social science research that says that it is typically in the children’s best interests to spend as much time as possible with each parent. What do the experts know about your kids anyway? And while you are at it, bad mouth your spouse to or in front of the kids. Better yet, alienate them. Then fight attempts to fix the relationship.
1. Take totally unreasonable positions implementing any or all of above and on top of that, negotiate backwards. Ignore the maxim "Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered." Put deals on the table and then reduce what you are offering. Negotiate in bad faith. Negotiate backwards. Don’t worry that this conduct may set your case back.
The above is clearly facetious and tongue in cheek. I do not recommend this behavior. It is usually self destructive and short sighted. But, believe it or not, these things happen all of the time. While I am not saying that no case should ever be tried, because sometimes trials are necessary, if you want to ensure a costly trial that may not go well for you, try the things on this list. And if it is your day in court that you want, be careful you wish for.
Eric Solotoff is the editor of the New Jersey Family Legal Blog and the Co-Chair of the Family Law Practice Group of Fox Rothschild LLP. Certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Matrimonial Lawyer and a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys, Eric practices in Fox Rothschild’s Roseland, New Jersey office though he practices throughout New Jersey. You can reach Eric at (973)994-7501, or firstname.lastname@example.org.