Every day I represent people who believe that they are never going to move on from their divorce. These incredibly strong people have a difficult time understanding that there is, in fact, a light at the end of the tunnel because the divorce has understandably become the primary focus of their everyday existence. One of the hardest parts of the divorce process is oftentimes not getting to the end, but, rather, coming to a question of what to do next?  As you go through the divorce process, there are a few people who can help you make your way once the divorce is finalized and can help you find that light at the end of the tunnel.

The therapist – For you, for the kids, or perhaps for the entire family, a licensed and well-trained therapist with whom you are comfortable can be critical to helping you/your kids move beyond the divorce. A therapist can also help you work through what happened during the marriage, the divorce, and how to adapt to a brand new future.

The divorce coach – Different from a therapist in many ways, a divorce coach is trained to help you get through the divorce process and move forward with your life from a more practical perspective. A good divorce coach can assist you in developing a positive, forward-looking and goal-oriented strategy either early on in the divorce process, in the midst of its occurrence, or even after its completion.

The parenting coordinator – No one said co-parenting after a divorce is easy, and a parenting coordinator can help transition parents into more workable co-parenting roles or, in cases where high acrimony exists render recommendations on anything from where the parenting time exchanges should occur to when there should be make-up parenting time, and so much more.  For those parents who have seen their parenting role minimized by the other parent, the parenting coordinator’s existence and recommendations on these types of issues can help preserve your ability to have a say, and ideally protect your relationship with the children.

The accountant and the financial advisor – After years of the other spouse handling the household finances and making financial decisions, you are now faced with having to tackle these issues on your own.  The situation may be even more complicated if you were not involved in the financial decisions and do not have an understanding of your monthly expenses, assets and any debts you were left with. A sharp accountant and financial advisor can help put your mind at ease as you try to figure out where to go from here.

The personal support system – Ultimately, your family and friends will be your strongest support system both during the divorce process and after its conclusion.  Never hesitate to turn to those with whom you feel comfortable to help get you through what may be a very difficult, but finite time in your life.

Everyone has their own way of moving on once the divorce is over.  How you get to where you want to be at the end of that tunnel, however, is ultimately up to you.

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Robert Epstein is a partner in Fox Rothschild LLP’s Family Law Practice Group and practices throughout New Jersey.  He can be reached at (973) 994-7526, or repstein@foxrothschild.com.

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