Thanksgiving is here again. Not feeling the warm and fuzzies this year? I get it. For many, the holidays can bring back unwanted memories, or perhaps a new type of holiday in a first year post-separation or divorce. Forget divorce, the world is a crazy place in many respects and especially now it may be hard to breakaway from that. So let’s brainstorm and find things to be thankful for during your divorce, another life changing moment, and in general.

  1. Ability to start fresh. Divorce is closing a door to a chapter of your life – some want to close that door and others wish the door never appeared, but in either event, you have the chance to start fresh and change your narrative.
  2. Appreciation for loved ones who maybe you didn’t truly appreciate before. In a marriage, it’s normal to be consumed with your own immediate family or those connected to you through your partner (i.e.: your spouse, children if you have, perhaps in laws), but now you have the time to reconnect with loved ones who you may not have been able to dedicate as much energy to in years past. Remember those who are rallying around you and be grateful for them/take advantage of the support.
  3. The little things. If thinking of a new Thanksgiving tradition or the breaking of an old one is too overwhelming, try to focus on the little things. Put off the work required for holidays to watch a good movie, go for a walk, do something that feeds your need and not someone else’s belly.
  4. Taking back control. Hey, maybe you hated the Thanksgivings you shared or expand that to other aspects of a prior life… take back control. What is it that the kids say these days, “you do you!”
  5. Your attorney! Your attorney is your confidante, your voice when you cannot advance your own, for us lucky ones, your friend. We are certainly grateful that you place your trust with us.


Lindsay A. Heller is a partner in the firm’s Family Law practice, based in its Morristown, NJ office. You can reach Lindsay at 973.548.3318 or

Lindsay A. Heller, Associate, Fox Rothschild LLP