With the slew of recent celebrity or notorious divorces in the news lately (i.e. Christie Brinkley, Jim McGreevey, Bill Murray, A-Rod, to name a few), one would think that adultery and other marital fault is really dealt with in the courts and that people are punished for these actions by a Court.
Maybe they are in other states, but it is not particularly relevant in New Jersey. In fact, in 2005, the New Jersey Supreme Court, in the Mani v. Mani case, held that marital fault is irrelevant to alimony except in two narrow instances: cases in which the fault negatively affects the economic status of the parties and cases in which the fault so violates societal norms that continuing the economic bonds between the parties would confound notions of simple justice (examples given were attempting to murder the supporting spouse and deliberately infecting a spouse with a loathsome disease.). .
This is not to say that the conduct is ignored altogether. If a spouse spent marital funds on a paramour, the fault is not considered but the other spouse by may be due a credit. Similarly, if the conduct impacts on the fitness of a parent and/or the best interests of the children, they can be raised in custody and parenting time proceedings.
While NJ still has fault grounds for divorce (i.e. adultery, extreme cruelty, desertion, voluntary drug addiction, habitual drunkenness, institutionalism for mental illness, imprisonment and deviant sexual conduct), they are not often plead anymore now that the no-fault "irreconcilable differences" cause of action for divorce was enacted. That said, even when they are plead, all they get you is a divorce.
Unless there is a limited issue where this is relevant, leave the seedy mudslinging to the celebrities.