I know, I know. Summer is coming to an end and despite how much torrential rain we have had, it is still sad to see it fade off into the sunset as the days get shorter and colder. Having just returned from a shore trip with my family, it is incredible to reflect on hours and hours of planning that go into even a small vacation.
For divorced parents, the level of detail and coordinating necessary to schedule vacations often increases ten-fold, as you not only have to worry about when the kids potentially get home from sleepaway camp, when school starts, when school sports/activities start (mid to late August sounds just about right so that going on vacation is ever that much harder), but also when the other parent is going on vacation, how the children will react to separate vacations, scheduling calls with the other parent during the vacation, and so much more.
With that in mind, here are five tips for scheduling vacations:
- Give as much notice to the other parent as possible. The more notice you provide to the other parent of when and where you plan on taking a vacation with the kids, the better. Many of our settlement agreements include language containing deadlines as to when vacation plans must be made known, who has the first choice each year, and the like, so provide as much notice as possible to help ensure there are minimal conflicts.
- Provide all contact information, itinerary details, and international travel approvals to the other parent. It should go without question that you need to provide details about vacation starts, where you are going, how you can be reached (other than cell phone) and any other pertinent details. You should also note that international travel may require an additional level of approval, cooperation and consent from the non-traveling parent.
- If you are going away together, be on your best behavior. While somewhat rare, some divorced parents will continue to vacation together with the children. While avoiding conflict is not always easy for either married or divorced parents, do your best to provide a positive experience for the children, present a united front to the extent possible, and convey a sense of normalcy.
- Be sure that the kids stay in touch with the other parent while away. Communicating with the non-vacationing parent oftentimes takes on a greater level of significance during vacation, especially with potentially packed travel schedules and distractions. Try to set aside a specific time when the children can speak to/video conference with the other parent every day so that they keep in touch as best as possible under the circumstances.
- Try to keep the conflict at a minimum. Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing. In the days leading up to the vacation’s commencement, consider being flexible with the other parent’s parenting time or communication requests. Keep the acrimony to a minimum, especially if camp/sleepaway camp for the children just ended and time is short before the vacation starts.
While every divorced family has its own set of wrinkles and hurdles to overcome in planning the best possible vacation time with the kids, hopefully these tips will help ensure that you are more worried about getting in as much sun as possible than anything else.
Robert Epstein is a partner in Fox Rothschild LLP’s Family Law Practice Group and practices throughout New Jersey. He can be reached at (973) 994-7526, or firstname.lastname@example.org.
*photo attributed to jmesquitaau