DISSOLVING A FINAL RESTRAINING ORDER

Recently, the Appellate Division in the unpublished decision of A.V. v. A.V., Docket No. A-2045-07T1, decided February 18, 2008, reversed and remanded the trial court's denial of defendant-appellant's motion to dissolve a Final Restraining Order and award of counsel fees.

In this matter, the parties had been married for approximately 5 years. Two children were born during the marriage, although one is now acknowledged not to be the biological child of defendant. The domestic violence matter arose when defendant learned of plaintiff's extra-marital affairs in the summer of 2005. During a series of arguments regarding plaintiff's infidelities and defendant's discovery of them, the intensity of which rose until the parties got into a physical altercation. Defendant then obtained a TRO against plaintiff. Five days later, plaintiff filed a cross complaint and approximately one month later, the matter went to trial for the determination of an FRO.

At trial, the court entered an FRO against defendant. The parties then continued with their divorce proceedings. During the divorce, information came out, which contradicted other information and testimony plaintiff had given during the domestic violence trial. After the FRO was entered, plaintiff retained custody of the minor children, however approximately one year later, DYFS removed the children from plaintiff's home and placed defendant's biological child with him. Subsequently, the parties resolved the issue of custody and parenting time.

In November 2007, defendant filed a motion seeking to dissolve the FRO, in which he argued that he and plaintiff were in communication regarding their child and that there had been no problems since the FRO was entered two years ago. Defendant noted that plaintiff did not claim that she was in fear of him or that there was any reason to continue the restraints in the FRO. Plaintiff opposed his application arguing that if the FRO was dismissed, the cycle of violence would continue. She also claimed, without providing any evidentiary support, that defendant intended to jeopardize her immigration status and negatively impact her ability to regain custody of the other child removed by DYFS.
 

During the oral argument of defendant's motion, the trial court asked plaintiff whether she was still fearful of defendant.  When she responded "yes", defendant's counsel then asked to cross-examine plaintiff.  The request was denied as the court indicated that there was a language barrier and that no interpreter was present.

Defendant appealed and the Appellate Division found the trial court's refusal to allow cross examination of plaintiff reversible error.  This was especially so because plaintiff did not contend in her opposition to defendant's application that she feared defendant, rather it was something the trial court elicited on its own.  Moreover, defendant had a right to cross examine plaintiff as to this issue, given her lack of credibility as demonstrated in the past.  On remand, the trial court should consider the following factors when determining if the FRO should be dissolved:

1) Whether the complainant consents to the dissolution;

2) Whether the complainant legitimately continues to fear the defendant;

3) The nature of the parties' present relationship;

4) Whether there have been any violations of the restraining order;

5) Whether the defendant has alcohol, drug abuse or violence issues;

6) Whether the defendant has had counseling; and

7) Whether there is a history of domestic violence and prior restraining orders.

As to the issue of counsel fees, the Appellate Division stated that this too should be reversed and remanded consistent with the plenary hearing to be conducted to determine whether defendant has met his burden of proof for the dissolution of the FRO.

HOW TO PREPARE FOR A CUSTODY EVALUATION

Custody evaluations are very important in determining child custody and access during contested divorce proceedings. Divorce courts give considerable weight to the recommendations of the evaluator. In addition, the participates are usually extremely nervous about the process.

As such, before an evaluation, I try to meet with my clients to let them know what to expect.  I also try to give them some basic guidelines as to how to act. 

Below are some guidelines that will assist a person to prepare for your custody evaluation with the expectation of ending your custody battle.

• Arrive on time at your custody evaluation interview.
• Dress neatly and conservatively.
• Be honest. The custody evaluator will likely check out your statements with collaterals and/or other sources.
• If the custody evaluator chooses to use psychological testing, ABSOLUTELY answer honestly. The tests are designed to detect defensiveness and lies and unless you are an expert in psychometric testing, you are unlikely to fool them.
• Be sincere. The custody evaluator can usually detect over embellishment and insincerity.
• It's all right to be nervous; most people are.
• It's all right to cry and/or show emotion; many people do.
• Answer questions directly and to the point.
• Make sure you pay attention to what the evaluator is asking.
• Take your time when answering a question. If you do not understand what is being asked, feel free to ask the evaluator to explain what he/she means.
• If the custody evaluator asks that you provide additional documentation, do so as promptly as possible or communicate any concerns about getting it.
• If you provide the custody evaluator with names of collateral contacts, it is a good idea to inform them in advance that they may be contacted so that they can prepare to speak on your behalf.
• If the custody evaluator is observing you with your child(ren), be attentive to their needs and focus on their interests and not yours.
• Present yourself as being reasonable and placing the concerns of your child(ren) above all.
• Relax and let the best aspects of your personality come out (patience, humor, concern for the child(ren)’s well being, etc.)

The following is a list of things to avoid doing during a custody evaluation
• DO NOT speak badly of your spouse/partner unless the custody evaluator asks you to comment on what you perceive to be the problems between you.
• DO not make threatening comments about your spouse/partner or anyone else to the evaluator.
• DO NOT harass the custody evaluator with phone calls.
• DO NOT drop by the evaluator's office without an appointment.
• DO NOT call the custody evaluator to see if the report is completed.
• DO NOT prep your child(ren) to say negative things about their other parent. The custody evaluator has ways of telling if this has happened.
• Custody evaluators recognize the stress people are under during this process and take this into account when assessing family members.
• If you are feeling stressed and anxious, it is all right to acknowledge it and allow the custody evaluator to help allay some of your concerns.

The following is a list of things that the evaluator is looking for:
• Empathy (the ability to understand what the children are feeling and the willingness to react appropriately)
• Setting appropriate boundaries
• Proper environment and proper care providers
• A loving relationship between you and your child(ren)
• Behavior supportive of the relationship between the child(ren) and the other parent
• Behavior which demonstrates that you are striving to keep the child(ren) insulated from the conflict
• Lack of hostility toward your spouse. (Speak of past problems in a matter-of-fact way, indicating that you these things behind you)

 

Custody evaluators recognizes that there are no perfect parents and his or her recommendations should be directed at determining the best parenting arrangement to meet your child(ren)'s needs.

The following is a list of other general tips:

• Do not make derogatory remarks about the other parent in general, and especially not to or in front of the child(ren)
• Do not make derogatory remarks about the other parent’s family in general, and especially not to or in front of the child(ren)
• Do not use the child(ren) as messengers
• Do not refuse to talk to the other parent regarding the child. This does not mean that you should have to accept abusive communications.
• If you are the non-custodial parent, do not leave the child with babysitters excessively.
• Communicate with the child(ren)’s educators and health care providers.
• Do not keep the child(ren) involved in activities from dawn until bedtime.
• Do not be inflexible regarding parenting time issues.
• Do not allow a new significant other to get involved in the custody dispute.

Also, be cognizant that some evaluators ask provocative questions, apparently aligning with you, to get a response.  Do not take the bait even if you think that the evaluator agrees with you that the other spouse did something wrong.  Rather, stick to the rules set forth above to minimize being tripped up. 

Beware of R.A.I.D.S.

There is a not too uncommon phenomenon that is frequently seen in divorce cases.  Specifically, as soon as the notion of a divorce action become a reality, many supporting spouse's incomes suddenly, and usually without valid explanation, drop substantially.  It may come as no surprise that someone may want to manipulate their income when an alimony or child support obligation is about to be set.  This affliction is sometimes known as "R.A.I.D.S." or Rapidly Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome (sometimes also known as "SIDS"  Sudden Income Deficiency Syndrome.) 

That is not to say that there are not valid, legitimate and explainable deviations in someones income.  Some people are in commission sales and one year is legitimately better than another.  Perhaps someones income is tied to real estate.  That person may have a legitimate reason why 2007 and 2008 are down years.  Mortgage bankers are probably having trouble now as are realtors.  I recently had a case where if you looked at my client's tax returns and W-2s, one would think that support should have been based upon a seven figure income as opposed to a mid-six figure income.  In this case, there were some discrete one time payments from exercises of stock options and change of control of companies that he worked for.  These are not the situations I am talking about.  In fact, when there is non-recurring income, it may be legitimate to back it out for purposes of computing support or else the support would not be fair to the payor.  When income legitimately fluctuates from year to year, the Child Support Guidelines and decisional law suggest taking an average (3 or 5 years is common). 

The cases that I am talking about are those where there is no explanation for the sudden drop in income.  Very often, this occurs when the supporting spouse is self employed.  There are many ways income is hidden.  Sometimes, it is just not collected - as possibly evidenced by a large rise in accounts receivable.  Sometimes, there may be several capital expenditures or large equipment purchases, which reduce the profits and thus the income.  Other times, perquisites or personal expenses paid by the business increase dramatically.  Check the business credit cards - they are often illuminating in this regard.  Cash is also a possibility as are other manipulations with payments received.

In these cases, discovery is critical to smoke out the true income and real reason for the alleged reduction in income.  The use of a forensic accountant is often essential to get to the correct income number.  

RAIDS is certainly an illness that can be diagnosed and with the proper team of lawyers and experts, cured so that the supported spouse is treated fairly. 

CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME A NUMBER?!?

Previously I blogged about the fact that cases have a life of their own and will only settle when both parties are ready.  As I was trying to settle a case today that is scheduled to start trial in Morris County next week, I was reminded of a related issue.

In this case, we have had a hard time getting the other side to negotiate.  They have taken a position that we don't think is reasonable nor supported by the facts or the law.  That said, we have made proposals to try to resolve the case.  In fact, at each time we have been required to negotiate (at the Early Settlement Panel, mandatory economic mediation (several sessions) and at an Intensive Settlement Conference), we have made proposals.  In some ways, it was against my normal practice to not bid against myself, but the client wanted to at least try to stir some movement. 

At each point, rather than provide a counter proposal, the other side has tried to wow us with, to put it nicely, "fuzzy math" in order to justify why they are right and we are wrong.  They have never, however, moved off of their proposal on support in any significant way. 

I finally had to tell the opposing counsel to just give me a number without the explanation or argument because I wasn't going to buy their theory, ever, and the theory didn't make a difference if the number was acceptable.

In fact, this is not unusual when trying to settle matters.  That is, sometimes the theories and explanations will bog things down.  The bottom line is that if  the parties agree on the number or a certain resolution of a non-financial issue, in many instances, it matters not at all how or why you got to that number.  In fact, the explanation may just start the argument again. 

Sometimes, it is more important to just give a number than explain how you got there.  If the number is fair and within the realm of reason, and the parties can live with it, it is sometimes better to be settled then win the debate which may only prove more costly.