The Never Ending Negotiation - Death By A Thousand Paper Cuts

Several years ago, I posted a blog entitled "Some Times You Just Have to Try a Case."  In that post, I discussed that there are some times where a litigant simply refuses to settle making a trial inevitable.  Are there times, however, when a trial might be less costly, quicker and preferable to long, drawn out, and perhaps insufferable negotations.  I have dubbed these mind numbing, perhaps bad faith negotiations, where sometimes you take one step forward and two steps back and sometimes, no issue is ever resolved, and sometimes, you make an offer about alimony and the response is about equitable distribution - death by a thousand paper cuts.  Whether intentional or not, you wonder whether a trial would have just been bettter.

I ponder that after recently concluding a case that, while having one little twist, which we got past several months ago, then endured numerous mediation sessions, numerous Intensive Settlement Conferences at the Courthouse and even more than one scheduled uncontested hearing where even the final changes had final changes, plus new changes.  In fact, I have recently had several cases where it took an inordinate amount of mediation sessions to resolve simple cases.  In one reasonably simple case, the parties went to mediation 6 or 7 times, before attorneys attended and even then, it did not settle despite the outcome being obvious.  In another, after 9 mediation sessions (7 with lawyers present), the case remains unsettled though only small dollars in the big picture remain in dispute. 

In your garden variety case, the inordinately drawn out process only serves to either wear a party out and forces the righteous client to give up to either move on or stop the bleeding of legal fees.  Otherwise, they incur a large legal bill just to get to the place they should have been had the other side acted reasonably (presuming for the second that they have negotiated fairly and reasonably.)

While I understand the desire to avoid trial at all costs for all of the usual reasons - finality, having control of your own destiny as opposed to putting the decision in the hands of a stranger, etc.- if the process comes to a place where all things considered, you cannot do worse if you go to trial, maybe a party should consider pulling the plug on these expensive snails pace and/or bad faith drawn out negotiations,  Perhaps the threat, if it is a real threat and you actually start doing what is necessary to prepare for trial, will stop the nonsense and get the other side to end the case once and for all. 

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Eric Solotoff is the editor of the New Jersey Family Legal Blog and the Co-Chair of the Family Law Practice Group of Fox Rothschild LLP. Certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Matrimonial Lawyer and a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys, Eric practices in Fox Rothschild's Roseland, New Jersey office though he practices throughout New Jersey. You can reach Eric at (973)994-7501, or esolotoff@foxrothschild.com.

How to Not Settle Your Case

Having just experienced several months of "interesting", to say the least, negotiations on several matters, it got me thinking about creating a list of things to do if you really don't want to settle your case.  Hey, every body is entitled to their day in court if they want it. So what if there is nothing that can be gained from it.  So what if you can't win.  So what if forcing the matter to trial will create other legal issues.  So what if trial will cost tens of thousand of dollars.  Here is the list:

10.  Ignore your expert's advice.  What do they really know about the value of your business or how a judge will likely assess your total income/cash flow?  What does an accountant know about taxes, or more importantly, how the IRS may address the creative accounting practices that you or your business have employed?  What does the custody expert really know? 

9.  Ignore your lawyer's advice.  What do they know anyway?  If your lawyer is telling you that you should jump at the deal on the table because it looks like a huge win, disregard it.  If they tell you that you have real exposure on certain issues or may be forced to pay your spouses legal fees, roll the dice. If your attorney tells you that they are willing to try your case, but that you should consider settlement because the cost of the settlement will be less than the cost of the trial plus the absolute minimum you have to pay, don't believe it.  And what does your lawyer know about the law or the judge anyway?

8.  Ignore the facts of your case.  Trust your ability to spin the facts in a way that doesn't make sense.  Plus, how can they prove if you're lying.

7.   Ignore what the neutrals are saying.  What do the Early Settlement Panelists know?  What does the mediator know?  When the judge has a settlement conference and gives directions, what does she/he know?  Assume that the people that have no "horse in the race" are aligned with your spouse or their attorney, have been bought off, or are just plain ignorant.  Really, it has nothing to do with the facts of your case or the reasonableness of your position.

6.  Ignore the law.  It doesn't apply to you anyway.

5.  Continue to misrepresent things, even when the other side has documents to disprove virtually everything you are saying.  Assume that you will be deemed more credible than the documents.

4.   Believe that the imbalance of power that existed during the marriage will allow you to bully your spouse into an unfair settlement.  Assume that your spouse's attorney wont try protect her/him.  All lawyers roll over on their clients, right?

3.   Take the position that you would rather pay your lawyer than your spouse. Ignore that fact that this tactic usually ends with your doing both, and maybe your spouse's lawyer too.

2.  Pretend as if your spouse never spent a second with the kids in the past and has no right to do so in the future.  Make false allegations of neglect or abuse.  Ignore the social science research that says that it is typically in the children's best interests to spend as much time as possible with each parent.  What do the experts know about your kids anyway?  And while you are at it, bad mouth your spouse to or in front of the kids. Better yet, alienate them.  Then fight attempts to fix the relationship.

1.   Take totally unreasonable positions implementing any or all of above and on top of that, negotiate backwards.  Ignore the maxim "Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered."  Put deals on the table and then reduce what you are offering.  Negotiate in bad faith.  Negotiate backwards.  Don't worry that this conduct may set your case back.

The above is clearly facetious and tongue in cheek. I do not recommend this behavior.  It is usually self destructive and short sighted.  But, believe it or not, these things happen all of the time.  While I am not saying that no case should ever be tried, because sometimes trials are necessary, if you want to ensure a costly trial that may not go well for you, try the things on this list.  And if it is your day in court that you want, be careful you wish for.

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Eric Solotoff is the editor of the New Jersey Family Legal Blog and the Co-Chair of the Family Law Practice Group of Fox Rothschild LLP. Certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Matrimonial Lawyer and a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys, Eric practices in Fox Rothschild's Roseland, New Jersey office though he practices throughout New Jersey. You can reach Eric at (973)994-7501, or esolotoff@foxrothschild.com.

If Your Agreement Has a Mediation Clause In It To Resolve Future Disputes, You Actually Have to Go to Mediation To Resolve Future Disputes

For whatever reason, it is not unusual for a Marital Settlement Agreement and/or Custody Agreement to have a mediation clause in it which requires parties to go to mediation before bringing an issue to the Court by way or motion.  For some issues, like enforcement, one questions the obligation to go to mediation.  Either someone violated the agreement or they didn't.  Other issues require a more swift decision and mediation could only slow the resolution down, especially for the party who might benefit from the delay.  And while we see these clauses all of the time, I have also seen many judges ignore the clause and adjudicate the dispute. 

This, however, is not what happened in the Decilveo n/k/a Woolf v. Decilveo case decided today by the Appellate Division in an unreported (non-precedential) opinion.  In this case, the parties divorce agreement stated:

In the event that any differences arise out of the interpretation, construction or
operation of this Agreement, the parties further specifically agree as follows:

(a) They shall first attempt in good faith to resolve such differences amicably and directly with each other, retaining the right to seek advice of counsel;

(b) If they are unable to resolve any dispute between themselves or with the assistance of counsel, or through mediation, either side may submit same to a Court of competent jurisdiction for resolution.

Arguably, this provision does not appear to specifically apply to enforcement or modification, two major parts of this litigation but the trial judge interpreted the agreement broadly, forcing the parties to mediation to address their numerous disputes. 

Not only that, the trial judge granted the defendant's cross motion to hold plaintiff in violation of the Agreement for failure to attempt mediation prior to filing her motion and directed the parties to attend mediation "to resolve any and all outstanding economic issues between the parties."

Citing Parish v. Parish, a case that I know a little about since it was my case, the plaintiff argued that the Agreement's "restraints" on her right of immediate access to the courts to have claims adjudicated violated the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.  In Parish, the Appellate Division found that a trial judge's order requiring the parties to try to settle their disputes by holding a four-way conference before filing post-judgment motions to be an impermissible restraint on a party's due process right of access to the courts.

The Appellate Division distinguished Parish noting that, in this case, the parties voluntarily agreed
to attempt to settle their disputes through mediation before filing in court.  The Court noted that while a court cannot prohibit access to the Court's the parties can and did do so by agreement. 
Moreover, the Appellate Division further noted that "mediation is a recognized and appropriate process for the voluntary resolution of family disputes."

So the take away from this case is that if you are going to include a mediation in your agreement, some consideration should be given as to whether it should be for all issues or whether things like enforcement or emergencies should be exempted from mediation.

Another day, Another Judge lost

 There is no secret that New Jersey is suffering a significant crisis with respect to judicial vacancies. This year alone has seen a significant number of retirements without replacements being named.  The effect on the family courts, and in particular, the divorce docket, has been catastrophic.   I was at a meeting of family lawyers just recently at which the assignment judge of a county in the southern part of the state was kind enough to come and discuss directly with the bar the situation.  And while I deeply appreciated the fact that he did, and the efforts that the judges are making to accommodate the needs of the public, the fact of the matter is that the situation is untenable throughout the state.  In some counties, the situation is so bad that there are no, I mean no, trials for contested divorce cases.  In others, a case will not reach a judge for final disposition for three years,  In several counties, judges have upwards of 500 cases to handle.  Only a superhuman can give a matter the attention it deserves when having that type of case load.  

The purpose of this blog is not to pass blame, nor to comment of the swirl of political posturing that goes on when this subject comes up. Rather, despite the fact that the vast majority of judges that I know are working late nights and weekends, they simply can’t keep up effectively.  And that means that attorneys and litigants have to find an alternate method to resolve their cases in order to save money and get on with their lives and those of their children. Any good family lawyer will have an honest conversation about the cost ridden road to the Courthouse.  Certainly, there are times that judicial intervention is necessary and as lawyers, we are prepared to take a case to the judge. However, alternate dispute resolution is an important piece of the puzzle.

There are several effective methods of alternative dispute resolution that must be considered by litigants.  Some of these are woven into the court system.  Some are complimentary to the system. Before filing for divorce, talk with your lawyer to determine whether mediation, or arbitration is a viable option for your situation.  

Mediation can occur any time during the process, and can happen with or without attorneys. Many times litigants will agree to go to a mediator to resolve their differences and then the mediator will prepare a memorandum of the agreement that the parties have reviewed by their respective counsel.  Sometimes, someone may be uncomfortable going through mediation without legal counsel.  In that case, going with a lawyer can be a cost and time effective method to settle the case. When you go with a lawyer, you can make sure that your rights are protected, and you do not agree to anything without having the opportunity to discuss the ramifications.

Mediation by its very nature requires a level of trust between the litigants that each will come to the table with the intention of negotiating and dealing in good faith. Sometimes that simply does not exist. In those cases, arbitration may be an excellent alternative to the court system. In some counties, arbitration is widely used. In others, not so much.

Arbitration is a good option for litigants who are unable to sit down in mediation and need a decision for contested disputes. There are many excellent arbitrators who specialize in family law, including many retired judges who are more than capable of rendering a sound decision. Arbitration is much like a trial in that there can be a hearing and each party can present witnesses if appropriate. The parties enter into an agreement in which they set the ground rules, and arbitration can include the right to appeal a decision. In the vast majority of cases, a decision is made by the arbitrator very soon after the hearing, letting the litigants go on with their lives.

Our reality is that there may need to be more use of some of these mechanisms in order to assist break up the log jam that exists in the Family Court.
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Jennifer Weisberg Millner is a contributor to the New Jersey Family Legal Blog and a member of Fox Rothschild's Family Law Practice Group. Jennifer practices throughout New Jersey in all areas of family law and family law litigation and is resident in the firm’s Princeton office. You can reach Jennifer at (609) 895-6712, or jmillner@foxrothschild.com.

If a Tree Falls During Mediation, Can the Mediator Tell Anyone About It?

Last week, Larry Cutler posted a piece on this blog entitled "Are Mediation Proceedings Really Sacred and Secret?"  The inspiration for this post was a recent published Appellate Division case Willingboro Mall, Ltd. V. 240/242 Franklin Avenue, L.L.C.., a case in which a mediator actually filed a certification and testified.  That, however, is the exception but not the rule. 

Often enough, parties go through mediation and believe that they have reached agreement.  It happens in divorce cases, and as evidenced in Willingboro Mall, it happens in other litigations.  Can the mediator testify that (1) there was a settlement and (2) what the terms are?  R. 1:40-4(c) includes a  restriction that "[no] mediator may participate in any subsequent hearing of the mediated matter or appear as a witness . . . for any person in the same or related matter.." The reported case of Lehr v. Afflito reiterates that the involvement of the mediator is improper absent a valid waiver by both parties.

Should this be the case, however?  If the ultimate issue as to whether or not a matter was settled is in dispute, who better than the mediator to answer that limited question?  If the parties agree ta ht the matter was settled but disagree on what the terms were, who better to answer that question too?  Parenthetically, if you go on the New Jersey Judiciary Web Site, there is a form for use by a mediator which is to be submitted to the Court after mediation called the Mediation Case Information Form.  The form requires the mediator to advise the matter is fully settled, partially settled or not settled.  Seemingly, this form would not be evidential under Lehr.

Since the Court places such high importance on the settlement of a matter on a public policy basis, would requiring mediators to report these things, if there was a dispute, really up end the confidentiality of the process.  Doesn't settlement signal the end of the process? Interestingly, in Willingboro Mall, Judge Fall (a former Family Part Judge), noted the following in response to the plaintiff's position that for a matter to be settled during mediation, there must be a contemporaneous writing on the spot:

Plaintiff's position also ignores the reason for referring a matter to mediation. The process is utilized to afford the parties an opportunity to present their position before an experienced professional with the goal of resolving some or all of the differences between the parties. See State v. Williams, 184 N.J. 432, 441 (2005). In contrast to arbitration, the mediation process is non-binding only in the sense that the process is not designed or intended to impose a result on any party. Indeed, such a result is the antithesis of the mediation process. Mediation is also not intended or designed as a meaningless and impotent detour on the way to judgment. The very purpose of the process is to resolve the dispute. (Emphasis added).

People can always make one of the ground rules of mediation or a settlement conference that there is no settlement until it is reduced to a writing signed by all parties.  That said, if they don't do that and then settle at mediation, should a party be allowed to renege, or even claim that there was no deal without the one person, without a vested interest in the litigation, telling the Court about the settlement?  As ADR is becoming more prevalent, my guess is that we have not seen the last of this issue.

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Eric Solotoff is the editor of the New Jersey Family Legal Blog and the Co-Chair of the Family Law Practice Group of Fox Rothschild LLP. Certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Matrimonial Lawyer and a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys, Eric practices in Fox Rothschild's Roseland, New Jersey office though he practices throughout New Jersey. You can reach Eric at (973)994-7501, or esolotoff@foxrothschild.com.

ARE MEDIATION PROCEEDINGS REALLY SACRED AND SECRET?

            Generally speaking, New Jersey statutes and court rules cloak settlement negotiations with secrecy (legally, called a “privilege”) such that what goes on in those proceedings are not evidential, that is, they are “privileged” from being disclosed to a court.

            Somewhat of an exception arises in cases in which the negotiations produce an oral agreement. Let’s first deal with this in the context of settlement negotiations not in the mediation context. Usually, it happens this way: the parties are participating in a “4-way” settlement session in which each party is present (either physically or by phone), as is their attorneys. Through the negotiations, agreement is reached as to the basic provisions such that both parties walk away from the session thinking that they have reached a binding agreement, albeit oral, subject only to “finalizing” it by reducing it to writing (and filling in details that would normally expand the basic terms during the drafting process), approved by the attorneys, and signed by the parties. One of the parties then changes his or her mind before any written agreement is signed. The other party says “wait a minute, you can’t do that, we had an oral agreement. You can’t change your mind.” The party backing off of the arrangement says “but we did not have a full agreement. There were many terms and details still to be negotiated.”

 

           

 

                So now the “other party” files a motion with the court to enforce the oral agreement. Will the court do so or does the “agreement” need to have been written not just oral?” The simple answer is that the oral arrangement may well be binding. At what is known as a “Harrington” hearing, the court will take testimony and determine: (1) was there an oral agreement; (2) did the parties intend the agreement to be binding; and (3) what are the terms of that agreement. An important element of the inquiry is whether the basic terms sufficiently articulated the intention of the parties such that if the details of the later “fill-in” terms do not change the discussed basic terms, they will not be held to prevent a finding that the arrangement was binding.        

 

               As a practice note, many attorneys exchange letters at the beginning of the process which indicate that no arrangement is effective or binding unless and until the terms are reduced to writing and signed by the parties. Thus, such an agreement as to the process obviates a Harrington exercise.

 

            Now enter mediation. Under New Jersey statutes and court rules, a “mediation communication” is privileged and “shall not be subject to discovery or admissible in evidence in a proceeding.” Thus, a mediator may not be compelled to provide evidence of a mediation communication.  Further, “a mediator may refuse to disclose a mediation communication, and may prevent any other person from disclosing a mediation communication of the mediator.” Waiver of the privilege by either a party or the mediation needs to be express. If a mediation communication privilege has been properly waived, only the portion of the communication necessary for the application of the exception from nondisclosure may be admitted.

 

            Therefore, it would seem that a Harrington hearing would not be available for mediation communications unless both parties waived the privilege. Since the privilege really belongs to the parties and not the mediator, if such a privilege is properly waived, the mediation might well be compelled to testify as to the negotiations.

 

            All of this is the contextual basis for the recent case of Willingboro Mall, Ltd. V. 240/242 Franklin Avenue, L.L.C., just decided by the Appellate Division. Even though this was a non-family matter, it is still, nonetheless, instructive. Here, during the process of a law suit and before trial, the parties agreed to a settlement through the auspices of a mediator.  The attorney for the defendants wrote to the judge setting forth the terms of the settlement. A copy of the letter was sent to all concerned, and in particular, to the other party’s attorney. About two weeks later, the attorney for the defendants again wrote to the court indicating that there had been partial implementation of the agreement. Thereafter, plaintiff refused to consummate the settlement. It asserted that a final, binding agreement had not been reached. The defendants then filed a motion for (essentially) a Harrington hearing.

 

            If the matter did not involve a mediator, the Harrington hearing would seem to have been in order. But since a mediator was involved, it would seem on first blush that the evidence which might be offered by either the defendants or the mediator would be privileged, and therefore, the issue of whether or not there had been a binding agreement could not be reached.

 

            The trial court, however, allowed discovery and following a plenary hearing at which testimony (including the mediator) on whether a binding agreement had been reach was admitted, the court found that there had been a binding agreement. In such posture, the court enforced that agreement which it had found to be enforceable.

 

            On appeal, Judge Cuff (a former family court judge) held that the two letters constituted “a writing” within the intendment of the law. Moreover, it appears (although the court does not expressly so state) that the plaintiff waived the privilege by: (1) his silence, that is, not objecting to the first letter written by the defendant’s attorney; and (2) participating in discovery without objecting.

 

            The bottom line rules are thus –

 

                        1.         settlement negotiations are usually cloaked with privileged and confidential;

                        2.         if a party alleges that an oral agreement reach is binding, the party opposing that conclusion needs to object immediately;

                        3.         the level of privilege and confidentiality of settlement negotiations conducted by a mediator are even higher than those conducted without such a facilitator;

                        4.         unless there is a waiver of the privilege, the issue of whether or not the parties arrived at an enforceable oral agreement with the aid of a mediator may be incapable of admissible proof, in which case, the inquiry is essentially rendered moot.

4 Way Conferences - They Are Not Only for Final Settlement

I have to admit it.  I have not always been a fan of the 4-way conference.  Often, they have been the bastion of bad behavior, posturing and often just not as productive as mediation with attorneys present or negotiations back and forth, in writing, between counsel.  That said, I am beginning to come around to seeing the usefulness of earlier meetings and earlier mediations, where appropriate, to try to resolve as much as possible, as early as possible.  In fact, I was recently reminded of the importance of the willingness to meet when an opposing counsel was fired, seemingly because that attorney refused to meet or even pick up a phone to discuss issues.

The meetings do not have to be simply for settlement.  More often than not, couples continue to reside in the same household while the divorce case is pending.  Often in these cases, at best, people are on edge and at worst, it is the War of the Roses.  In these situations, an early meeting can be helpful to address conduct and civility within the home and perhaps interim exclusive parenting time between each party and the child(ren).  The alternative could be a domestic violence situation (real or bogus) which could possibly have been avoided.  Temporary support issues can be discussed.  The use, sale and/or restraints on assets can be addressed.  A source of funds for payment of counsel or expert fees can be discussed.  There really is no limit to what can be addressed.

Since custody and parenting time are issues that the courts want to have resolved sooner than later, because custody evaluations take a long time and are expensive, an early meeting can root out whether there are bona fide issues, or whether a settlement on these issues can be reached. 

Other times, these meetings are a good opportunity to allow one or both party with something "on their chest" to have the cathartic experience of getting something off their chest.  In some cases, this allows the issues in the case to be addressed now that this is behind the parties.

In other cases, the entire case can be settled or at least a framework for settlement can be reached, subject to the exchange of certain documents so that each side can be comfortable that they know everything that there is to know.  Even if you cannot settle, you get to learn about the other side's positions, issues, perhaps evidence, etc. 

While we are used to and adept at litigation and while some cases require some (if not a lot of litigation), this is not the case in every divorce.  Even in high conflict matters, meetings and opening a real dialog can help to keep the lid on things so that the attention can be turned to the real issues.  Figuring when to meet is the trick.  Refusing to meet, at all, is usually a mistake.  Usually something good can come of it.

Creating "Settlement Anxiety" at Mediation - Is It Fair When One Party is Acting Unreasonably?

Last year, I blogged on this topic after I was at a mediation where the mediator, when telling us his assessment of my client's case, said that he was creating "settlement anxiety." At the time, I had never heard of this term but what I believed was meant was that the mediator wanted the client to have "anxiety" about his/her position in order to be more likely to make compromises and settle. If the goal is getting a settlement at all costs, I guess it makes sense - but is it fair, especially where one party is acting reasonably, and the other is not.  As this has come up in two recent mediations, I thought it made sense to reprise this post.

In most cases, there is a "realm of reasonableness" or a range in which any settlement would be essentially fair. Perhaps, a fair alimony figure could be between $100,000 per year and $125,000 per year. A fair resolution could be either of those numbers and anything in the middle. In most cases, people, with all relevant facts and acting reasonably, negotiate within the realm of reasonableness, but at either end depending on which side of the case they are on. In that case, a mediator trying to create "settlement anxiety" will try to express the flaws in either case to get the parties to meet somewhere in the middle to achieve a result that is fair.

But what about cases where one party is negotiating within the realm of reasonableness and the other is not? Put another way, what about cases where one party has the law and the facts pretty much on their side as to most issues and the other side is taking a position that is absurd? In this case, should the mediator be trying to create similar "settlement anxiety" in both parties? Add another level - what if the mediator knows that the unreasonable party will never settle the matter in a reasonable fashion? Should the mediator pressure/create the same amount of "anxiety" in the more reasonable party just to achieve a settlement even though everyone knows it is unfair? Should the result be settlement at all costs? Does this type of pressure on the righteous party just to get a deal done artificially undermine a party's relationship with her counsel and experts, if just for settlement purposes, they are told that their case is weak when it is not?

In my humble opinion, pointing out the legitimate limitations in someones case in order to help create a settlement is fair and appropriate. On the other hand, creating artificial anxiety just to get a settlement all all costs because one party is acting unreasonably or negotiating in bad faith is not. The system should be fair and equitable and the parties are entitled to justice. It is neither fair nor justice to lessen a party's confidence in their case, artificially, just because the other side will never settle in a fair and reasonable manner.

That does not mean a party cannot give more ore receive less just to get a case done and move on with their life. That is their choice. In fact, in recent cases, the mediators have used the anticipated costs of litigation as the pressure point on the party with the more reasonable position. Perhaps the better tactic would be to tell the unreasonable person of their exposure to pay the reasonable party's legal fees.

That said, the reasonable litigant should not be manipulated just because the other side refuses to be reasonable. And as I have blogged before, sometimes you just have to try a case.

Disqualification of a Decision-Maker

 The most timely and important issue in the recent Appellate Division case of N.H. v. H.H. dealt with the rapidly developing law of the alternative process of arbitration in the family law context, and in that case, particularly as that process relates to children issues. That is the subject of a companion article on this blog.

 Another issue of note to litigants raised by this case relate to claims of litigants as to lack of impartiality (bias and/or prejudice) of a decision-maker, whether the title be a judge, an expert rendering a report, a mediator or an arbitrator.

In this case, the Wife argued that the mediator’s prior role in the parties’ attempt at reconciliation “perverted” his ability to act as an impartial mediator, particularly due to his acquaintance with the Husband (an attorney). The reviewing court found nothing in the record to substantiate such a claim. In so finding, Judge Harris said that “. . . illusory or metaphysical doubts about the performance of a mediator’s services will not suffice to engender an erosion of confidence in the product of such process”

The significance of this aspect of the case encompasses legal resolutions far beyond that limited to the process of mediation. Many times a litigant will so totally disagree with a judge’s determination that he or she will characterize the judge’s attitude as being biased or prejudiced. During a proceeding, the process of addressing these issues is known as disqualification, and is governed by Rule 1:12-1(f) of the New Jersey Rules of Court. It provides (among other things) that a judge should disqualify himself or herself when there is any “. . . reason which might preclude a fair and unbiased hearing and judgment, or which might reasonably lead counsel or the parties to believe so.”    Cannon 3 of the Code of Judicial Conduct provides for disqualification for “personal bias or prejudice . . .”

Having set forth these legal parameters, while A judge should not disqualify himself or herself merely upon the suggestion that grounds therefore exist, but only in cases in which the alleged cause is true: merely expressing an opinion in the case, or in any other case in which the same issue appeared, does not necessarily disqualify the judge nor does making a ruling adverse to the party seeking recusal, nor does even making an inappropriate comment.

On appeal, a determination of a trial judges will not lightly be overturned. It is only when the judge has abused his or her discretion, or the facts as found by the trial judge are not supported by sufficient credible evidence. Thus, even on a question of disqualification on appeal, such a claim will be sustained only in cases in which it would make a substantial difference in the outcome.

Allied to this is the question of assigning another trial judge in cases which warrant a remand from the appellate court and further proceedings thereafter at the trial level. Even though the reviewing court has the power to reassign the matter, that power will be exercised only when there is a concern that the trial judge has a potential commitment to his or her prior findings.

Thus, the lesson in this regard to be learned is that while a litigant may be greatly dissatisfied with either the conduct or determination of an expert of decision-maker, it takes a great deal of actual proof, not just perceived dissatisfaction, before a person performing such duties will be disqualified, and thus, his or her work product voided. The words of the Appellate Division in Perkins v. Perkins, 159 N.J. Super. 243, 248 (App. Div. 1978), say it all:

“Attorneys and litigants must understand our limited role on appeal. The equitable distribution law is relatively new and important interpretations may still be needed. But the result in this case, like many others, simply represents the best a fair-minded, conscientious judge can make of the law and the intangible equities on each side. How can one measure the benefits and losses of each party in a marriage that has consumed some seven years of cohabitation and two or three more of separation before divorce? A woman has worked during that time, as did her husband, inside and outside the home, but her salary has been less than his. A judge is then called upon to divide the material acquisitions that remain, but frequently there are neither assets nor wisdom sufficient to satisfy the expectations of each party.

More than a feeling of dissatisfaction is needed to fuel an appeal. It is a mistake for parties to seek satisfaction in this court simply because it has eluded them in the trial court. The advantage sought here is apt to be illusory. A sharp departure from reasonableness must be demonstrated before our intercession can be expected. Attorneys must exercise objectivity to calm the fighting blood of the parties and restrain their self-punishing, litigious impulses. The faint hope for victory on appeal should not be used as an excuse to continue the marital discord.

It is not surprising, therefore, that this litigation will end on the same disappointing note as the marriage. Neither party received what he or she hoped for. But the trial judge did the best he could on the evidence before him. We cannot say that he was wrong.”
 

"Settlement Anxiety" - An Effective Tool or an Unfair One?

Recently, I was at a mediation where the mediator, when telling us his assessment of my client's case, said that he was creating "settlement anxiety."  I had never heard this term but what I believe was meant was that the mediator wanted the client to have "anxiety" about his/her position in order to be more likely to make compromises and settle.  If the goal is getting a settlement at all costs, I guess it makes sense - but is it fair?

In most cases, there is a "realm of reasonableness" or a range in which any settlement would be essentially fair.   Perhaps, a fair alimony figure could be between $100,000 per year and $125,000 per year.  A fair resolution could be either of those numbers and anything in the middle.  In most cases, people, with all relevant facts and acting reasonably, negotiate within the realm of reasonableness, but at either end depending on which side of the case they are on.  In that case, a mediator trying to create "settlement anxiety" will try to express the flaws in either case to get the parties to meet somewhere in the middle to achieve a result that is fair.

But what about cases where one party is negotiating within the realm of reasonableness and the other is not?  Put another way, what about cases where one party has the law and the facts pretty much on their side as to most issues and the other side is taking a position that is absurd?  In this case, should the mediator be trying to create similar "settlement anxiety" in both parties?  Add another level - what if the mediator knows that the unreasonable party will never settle the matter in a reasonable fashion?  Should the mediator pressure/create the same amount of "anxiety" in the more reasonable party just to achieve a settlement even though everyone knows it is unfair?  Should the result be settlement at all costs?  Does this type of pressure on the righteous party just to get a deal done artificially undermine a party's relationship with her counsel and experts, if just for settlement purposes, they are told that their case is weak when it is not? 

In my humble opinion, pointing out the legitimate limitations in someones case in order to help create a settlement is fair and appropriate.  On the other hand, creating artificial anxiety just to get a settlement all all costs because one party is acting unreasonably or negotiating in bad faith is not.  The system should be fair and equitable and the parties are entitled to justice.  It is neither fair nor justice to lessen a party's confidence in their case, artificially, just because the other side will never settle in a fair and reasonable manner.  That does not mean a party cannot give more ore receive less just to get a case done and move on with their life.  That is their choice.  On the other hand, they should not be manipulated just because the other side refuses to be reasonable.  And as I have said before, sometimes you just have to try a case.

READ MARK ASHTON'S EXCELLENT POST ENTITLED "A DIVORCE NEGOTIATION PRIMER"

Mark Ashton, a partner in our Exton, Pennsylvania office, and a contributor the firm's Pennsylvania Family Law blog, wrote an excellent post on that blog entitled "A Divorce Negotiation Primer".

There are several points I would like to highlight:

  • negotiations are confidential and cannot be introduced in court, except for very limited circumstances, but not as to the ultimate issue that is the subject of the negotiations.
  • negotiation is intended to narrow issues
  • at the time of trial, no one is bound by the positions taken during negotiations
  • a party who negotiates backwards (for example making a demand, then increasing the demand), risks losing credibility in the negotiations and also causes their attorney to lose credibility.
  • Put all issues on the table as early as possible so as not to spring new issues when settlement appears near and/or give a party false hope of settlement when the parties are not really all that close.

As usual, Mark's advice is good advice. 

"I'LL ONLY GO TO MEDIATION, BUT WITHOUT ATTORNEYS" AND OTHER CONTROL AND SCARE TACTICS

Over the years, I have seen several threats or other tactics used by one spouse to scare or control the other spouse.  Many of the oldies but goodies have come up recently.  Some are as follows

  • "If you don't agree to go to mediation, it will be a war"
  • The above is often coupled with, "I will only go to mediation, but not with attorneys" or "but not if you hire an attorney"
  • "I was going to give you everything, but now that you hired an attorney, I will give you nothing"
  • You will be homeless if you proceed with the divorce
  • "The kids and I will enjoy the same lifestyle but I don't intend on supporting you"
  • "I can afford to pay support or equitable distribution but not both"
  • "All of the stocks and bonds are mine because I earned the money"
  • "I will take the kids from you if you divorce me"
  • "I will tell everyone about your _________________ (insert indiscretion or problem here) if you proceed with the divorce
  • The preceding is often coupled with, "After I tell everyone, no one will want to talk to you"
  • "You will be all alone" 
  • "The kids wont want to live with you"

These are just a few of many threats that I have heard clients tell me over the year.  Typically, the controlling spouse does not want to lose control, either in marriage or in divorce.  Often, the controlling spouse has used these type of mind games during the marriage to get what they want.  Some litigant's buckle under these types of threats and stay in a bad situation, often giving their spouse to do divorce planning to set things up for a time when they are ready to proceed with a divorce. 

The bottom line is that everyone is entitled to effective and competent representation.  There is nothing wrong with going to mediation with counsel (or at least with counsel retained to advise you through the process even if they are not present). Someone who would give everything if you don't get an attorney, or who promises a war if you get attorney, is most likely seeking to use the threats and imbalance of power to get a deal that is extremely favorable to them self and unfavorable to the other person. Marital fault rarely means anything other than providing a cause of action for divorce. 

If you hear these threats, stay strong and speak to your attorney about the best way to deal with them.  In addition, get support from your therapist,  family and/or friends so that you have some one, in addition to your attorney, to lean on in the face of these tactics.

COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE: PANACEA OR RECIPE FOR DISASTER

Previously we blogged on alternate dispute resolution methods ("ADR") such as mediation and arbitration. "Collaborative Divorce" is another ADR method.

"Collaborative Divorce" is defined as  a form of alternative dispute resolution for divorcing couples where a  team approach is used to reach a settlement. Both parties to the divorce are supported by their lawyers; however, they work cooperatively with their spouse.  The collaborative process uses informal discussions and conferences attended by both spouses and their attorneys to settle all issues. The collaborative process is premised upon an atmosphere of honesty, cooperation, integrity, and professionalism. It requires that both spouses, with the assistance of their attorneys, provide all pertinent documents and information relating to the issues to be settled. In the event that experts are necessary, it encourages the use of jointly retained experts. Both spouses and attorneys are required to work together toward a shared resolution that is geared toward the future well being of the family. If the parties cannot reach a settlement through the collaborative process approach, the collaborative lawyers withdraw from the case and the parties then retain trial attorneys to pursue the matter in court.

Is collaborative divorce for everyone? I am a divorce litigator and people often come to me with complex, high conflict and/or high stakes cases so perhaps I am biased in that regard. Even still, I cannot see collaborative divorce being for everyone to be used in every case. Just as I wrote about my concerns about mediation, i.e. the possibility of a spouse taking advantage of an imbalance of power; the settle at all costs posture whether the resolution is fair to both parties or not; etc., I think that those pitfalls are just as possible in collaborative divorce.

For instance, I recently heard of a divorce case described as "freakish". At the same time, the husband was described as a "power broker" and the wife was a housewife with a young child. Most confusing was the revelation that the parties were involved in a "collaborative divorce."

To me, this sounded like a recipe for disaster. How can a "freakish" divorce be collaborative? If both parties are "power brokers" perhaps collaboration could work though it seems like both would want to "win." Collaboration seems unlikely when one party is a "power broker" and the other is not - capitulation seems more likely than collaboration. Ever wonder why the more powerful spouse wants to mediate?

Perhaps for a garden variety divorce with two reasonable people, this can work. In most other cases, it seems that the interests of the weaker party could be compromised. 

RESPONSE TO ATTACK OF THE MEDIATOR

Today I came across a blog entry by a divorce mediator which was nothing short of an attack on "best lawyers."  It appeared as though the ills of the divorce world were placed at the feet of the best divorce lawyers. Lawyers were castigated for such sins as discovery (obtaining financial documents) and seeking court assistance when you want temporary support or time with the children. He said that any lawyer can get the same result and that hiring a good lawyer sets the client up for a racket that is in the lawyer's best interests, but not the client's.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time that I have seen attacks on lawyers from the mediation community.  There appears to be a turf war.  Either you are mediation friendly, or you are not.    Rather than recognizing that some cases are more amenable to mediation than others, the followers would rather attack the "non believers."  

While I agree that most cases will settle, many cases take a fair amount of discovery and litigation to get there. To believe otherwise is simply naive. 

Further, while mediation is not for everyone, it is a useful tool in many cases, Then again, just as not all attorneys are alike, neither are all mediators.  In fact, I suspect that the author of the blog that I read would agree that not every mediator can get the same result - though he says that any lawyer can. 

In a prior blog from May 2009, I wondered whether the mediator's goal was a fair settlement or just a settlement.  To see another blog post on mediation that I authored, click here.  Are parties, often the woman being protected from the imbalance of power that permeated the marriage?  Are people being told of their rights when they appear at mediation without lawyers?  What efforts are made to ensure full and accurate disclosure?  Are the appropriate appraisals being done at all, and when done, are they being challenged and scrutinized to make sure that they are fair and accurate? 

There is no doubt that mediation and other methods of alternate dispute resolution can be a good thing. That said, I have often seen mediations result in a "settlement", but one where the disadvantaged spouse got a "deal" that was neither fair nor reasonable, if not unconscionable. The problem in these cases is that often, once there is an "agreement", the person that got the great deal refuses to concede anything. Thus, a method meant to avoid litigation can often create litigation.  Many of these deals came from the "best mediators." 

That said, rather than attacking lawyers, mediators should recognize that there is a place for the best attorneys and the best mediators.  I posit that the best and most fair mediated settlements will result from the attorneys and mediators working together rather than attacking each other.  I am sure that we can all agree that a fully informed settlement, where both parties interests are fully protected, is optimum. 

One Client, One Lawyer

A common misconception in New Jersey is that both spouses can use the same attorney for their divorce.  My local paper recently had an article about divorces in the current economy.  One attorney was quoted as intimating that this was true; the attorney was speaking of uncontested divorces in which the parties agree on issues and the seek the dissolution of their marriage. While I am certain that the attorney’s comments were taken out of context, as one of the points in the article was a concern about legal fees, this is a question that comes to me often.  A client will ask me if I can represent both spouses, even if they have an agreement.  The answer is a resounding, no.

 

The ethics rules in our state are very clear that one attorney cannot represent both spouses in a divorce.   Simply, it is a conflict of interest.  The New Jersey Supreme Court has said on many occasions, that “one of the most basic responsibilities incumbent on a lawyer is the duty of loyalty to his or her clients. From that duty issues the prohibition against representing clients with conflicting interests."( In re Opinion No. 653 of the Advisory Comm. on Prof'l Ethics, 132 N.J. 124, 129 (1993)).  Our state has a very strong policy in which there should not be even an “appearance” of a possible conflict of interest.  This is to protect the clients.

 

Imagine a scenario in which one spouse has been home raising children, and the other has been working throughout a twenty year marriage.  This is a situation in which alimony will be an issue.  Certainly, the non working spouse and the working spouse may have differing positions about the amount and term of alimony. Most people agree that in these circumstances, the parties will want to have their own attorneys.  But what about the situations where both parties are working, and they have a house and a couple of retirement accounts.  Many people believe that in this situation, they do not need two attorneys and both use the same lawyer.  Well, they can’t. 

There are many times in what is deemed to be a “simple divorce” that a conflict of interest could arise. This does not mean that one party is trying to “get one over” on the other; it could be a situation in which the parties reach an agreement and simply do not understand all of the applicable issues. Take this example ( which happened to me several years back): husband and wife agree that she is going to take the house which has $100,000 in equity. Husband will take the investment account which has a value of about $100,000. 50-50 split, right? This is what they want to do. Well, it’s maybe not quite so fair, because in my example, it turns out that the investment account contains stocks that they received twenty years ago for a wedding present and there will be significant tax consequences such that husband will really only get $70,000 in after tax dollars. Take the example of a pension. Usually the parties divide the interest which was accrued during the marriage. But what about the beneficiary designation? That designation could have significant consequences on a spouse who remarries later on.

 

These is just two of thousands of examples of why each party should get independent advice in a divorce. Most cases settle and an agreement is drawn up. But the essence of a settlement is compromise, which means that each side will give up something that they are otherwise entitled to in order to reach a settlement that they are satisfied with. How can the same lawyer advise the clients what to give up without creating a conflict? It cannot be done, which is why one attorney cannot represent both spouses in a divorce.

 

That being said, there are many, many times that I am retained to review an agreement that has been prepared by another lawyer, or a mediator. And in some of those occasions, I may not recommend any changes. But at least each person has had the opportunity to make sure that their rights are protected. Sometimes, a client will come in and say that she(or he) and the spouse have worked out an agreement between themselves and only want to use one attorney. I advise my client of all the implications of the agreement. I then prepare an agreement with the terms (as they may have been modified after I have given the client my opinion), and send it to the other spouse with a stern letter advising that spouse to have an attorney review the agreement before signing it. If that spouse waives his or her rights, and does not seek to see a lawyer for advice, I note that fact in the agreement. This is to protect my client against a potential challenge to the agreement at a later date on the basis of that other spouse not having legal advice. Then, once the agreement is signed, the matter proceeds on a “uncontested basis.”

 

The fact of the matter is that the vast majority of lawyers understand that their clients are conscious about the fees that they spend for a divorce and make every effort to work efficiently while at the same time making sure that the client is educated about his or her rights and protected.

DIVORCE FOR THE WELL-TO-DO

As seen in Affluent Magazine.

Divorce for those of substantial wealth relative to those of limited wealth is an oxymoron – aspects of divorce between the two classifications are both similar and yet quite different. In final analysis, it is a question of degree – that is, the number of zeros behind the dollar signs. This summary discussion will deal with certain procedures and aspects of divorce which are similar to both. The distinctions lie in the availability and desirability of various procedural vehicles to the two groups.

Privacy and Confidentiality

Nearest to the hearts of you -- the rich and famous (next to, of course, your money) -- is privacy and confidentiality. None of you in your right mind wants to spread your dirty laundry in public – least of all those of you blessed with substantial wealth. With divorces of such persons being instant grist for media dissemination, generally, it is better for all concerned (especially their children on a whole host of levels) to have disposition of your matter not a matter of public spectacle. All too often, the perceived lesser-advantaged spouse may play the publicity card (or threaten to do so) in order to opt out a financial advantage – or in simple parlance – vie for “hush” money. Perception by the lesser-advantaged spouse that the financially-advantaged spouse will deal with her or him fairly (whatever that may mean) will usually go a long way toward negotiations where calmer minds prevail. Another method of seeking to assure a divorce far from the public eye is for a pre-marital agreement to address issues of confidentiality and mediation and/or arbitration out of the public limelight.

Pre-Marital Agreements

In the run-of-the-mill usual case of two young persons marrying for the first time (with, hopefully, their full, long lives ahead of them), a pre-marital agreement does not seem to be necessary except in those cases in which it is reasonably anticipated that one party may later be the beneficiary of a large estate or trust. In other words, they start with nothing, and anything they might acquire during a long marriage should be divided according to law.

On the other hand, a subsequent marriage of more mature individuals (but not necessarily of senior status) who have acquired reasonable assets and perhaps have children from former relationships (and who have some greater degree of wisdom and circumspection than starry-eyed youths) may wish to guard against what might not turn out to be a marriage made in heaven. Thus, a pre-marital agreement would seem to be appropriate in order to protect assets in the event of a short marriage or upon death.

Enter now those of you of younger age who are not only not financially-challenged, but may have substantial wealth at your tender years or be in line for such status in the future during marriage. You lucky folks, too, are prime candidates for the protections of a carefully drafted pre-marital agreement. In such cases, it is not unusual for a battery of advisors to be employed for various inter-disciplinary advice, such as a matrimonial lawyer; a financial advisor, a tax advisor, a family trust and estates lawyer, etc. Clearly, these cases involve the most forethought, planning, and time before the nuptials are exchanged. Last minute drafting in these cases (especially) is a no-no.

Lastly, as alluded to above, a carefully drafted premarital agreement can address issues of confidentiality, privacy, secrecy and alternative dispute resolution methods.

Mediation/Arbitration

Alternative dispute resolution methods are, in many cases, the waive of (not just the future but) now. It is virtually universal that (for a myriad of reasons) there is a backlog of matrimonial cases in courts of this land. That means that the time between filing of the initial divorce papers and final resolution by a court (in a contested matter in which the parties are unable to amicably settle their matter and disposition by court decision becomes necessary) is ever-increasing – in some cases, years.

For those of means, alternatives to judicial resolution are available. Simply put, mediation is a system in which a third party(ies) is retained to help the parties (usually with legal counsel) resolve their matter by assisting and facilitating the negotiations. On the other end of the systemic spectrum is arbitration – a system in which a third party(ies) is mutually appointed by both spouses who will conduct a formal or informal “hearing” in order to receive presentations of the parties as to issues, facts and positions, who then makes a binding decision – usually with limited right of appeal.

All alternative resolution dispute methods have the virtue of removing a possibly contentious matter from the adversarial and usually angered nature of the courtroom where (hopefully) cooler minds will prevail But both mediation are arbitration are not without drawbacks. While participation by the parties in mediation is mandated in many states, the adage that “you can lead a horse to water but can’t make him drink” prevails some of the time with obstinate litigants. On the other end, the biggest reluctance of rich folks to submit to binding arbitration is the lack of appeal in most cases which scares many away due to the fear of loss without a second opinion. But that sense of reticence is misplaced. Consider the following brutal but true fact: whether judges are appointed or elected, many (if not most) who sit on matrimonial matters possess little the training, experience or temperament to be making your life-decisions. On the other hand, an arbitrator cannot usually be foist on the parties without their consent as to the choice of arbitrator. Therefore, you are free to select someone (usually a retired family judge or very experienced matrimonial lawyer) of great knowledge of this area of the law to decide your destiny and that of your children.

Consider also that on appeal, grounds for reversal will not lie where the appellate judges hearing your case merely disagree with the decision of the trial court, but only in cases in which the trial judge has abused his or her discretion (that is, his or her decision is so off the wall as to shock their collective conscience of the appellate judges). Thus, is it only on the outer fringes of the spectrum of possible decision-making which will be rewarded with a reversal. That, coupled with the fact that the chances of an experienced arbitrator reaching those fringes are remote at best means that even if an appeal could lie from an arbitrator’s decision, there would be only the most remotest of chances that a reversal would be granted. Having shown that (as a practical matter) a decision of a carefully-chosen arbitrator would be appeal-proof, having the right to appeal is altogether empty, and as such, having no right (or very limited right) to appeal is giving up nothing at all.

The lesson to be learned is don’t be afraid of arbitration, but be smart and embrace it. The advantages of arbitration for those of you with financial means are (among others) expedition; quality of decision; and anonymity. The cost of retaining an arbitrator in addition to lawyers, accountants, etc., should not deter those of you who can outwardly afford this method of gaining resolution. Experience shows that those who are short-sighted in this regard usually, in the long run, pay much more in litigation costs (and spend more time and heartache in engaging in the court process) than if they had availed themselves of this method of resolution.

Estate and Trust Issues

Certain aspects of cases limited to the rich and (maybe not necessarily so) famous arise (usually) in the context of the passage of family wealth. The two most utilized vehicles are trusts and devises by last will and testament. The creators of these documents usually seek to limit the beneficiaries use or access to its resources by either the intended recipient or his or her spouse. Both parties are (for the most part) essentially bound by the dictates of the four corners of such a devising document. For the most part, careful draftsmanship of the creator’s legal counsel will carry out the creator’s protective intent. Supplemental careful draftsmanship by the well-healed intended spouse’s legal counsel should (just about) lock in that protective intent.

But all is not cast in stone. In most states, income from such immune assets may be used for alimony and support purposes. Add to that the notion that “absolute discretion” of the trustee is somewhat less than absolute in most jurisdictions, that is, a court may override a discretionary decision of a trustee to withhold distributions as being arbitrary.

. . . . .

The bottom line is simply this: those of wealth need competent and experienced legal counsel from many disciplines in order to protect their assets from many vantage points. Nothing substitutes for such advice and services. So, don’t be penny wise and pound foolish when it comes to retention and reliance on legal counsel This is not a place to get a case of the cheaps. Remember: the money you save may be your own.
 

MEDIATION - IS THE MEDIATOR'S GOAL A FAIR SETTLEMENT OR ANY SETTLEMENT?

Previously I blogged on the issue of mediation and my skepticism of the process under certain circumstances.  This week there was a spirited discussion regarding the issue of mediation on the New Jersey State Bar Association Family Law Section listserve.  As a result, I thought it would be wise to highlight some of the issues again.

To frame the issue, the bigger debate surrounded the practice where a couple goes directly to a divorce mediator or some other trained mediator, without attorneys.  Some of the things that raised concern were as follows:

  1. Some mediators are concerned not whether the mediation is fair, but rather, simply that the parties reached a settlement
  2. Number 1 would be less troubling, except that many mediators are not telling the party receiving an unfair deal that it is unfair
  3. Rather, apparently, for many mediator's, the phrase, "I think you should discuss this issue with a lawyer" is code for the resolution of this issue or this case is unfair.  However, people go to mediators to avoid lawyers and/or there is an undercurrent among mediators that divorce lawyers really are not looking out for the parties' interests.  Moreover, some parties think that if a mediator is not putting a stop to the mediation when something is unfair, that it must be fair.

There was also a concern that the imbalance of power in the marriage that naturally is creeping into the mediation is being ignored.  A perfect example is in a case where alimony, perhaps permanent alimony is a no brainer, yet the wife is willing to waive it in mediation.  Is anyone asking why?  Did the husband vow to never pay alimony?  Was there a threat to "go after custody" if a spouse sought alimony?  Did one spouse say "I spoke to a lawyer who said you weren't entitled to alimony" as a means to deter the other spouse from seeking it?  Was the other spouse given access to money to consult their own attorney?  I once represented a woman in a post-judgment matter whose husband would not give her money for the attorneys she wanted to see, only for mediation and then an attorney he hand selected for her to draft the Agreement.  It was not shocking that the "mediated agreement" included a waiver of alimony and the child going to school where the husband lives, when the child was of school age, despite the fact that the wife was the primary caregiver. 

I have also seen many a  complex matter where one party is pushing for mediation and there hasn't even been the most basic exchange of information at that time, much less formal discovery. I have even seen cases where the party with the documents will not provide them in advance of mediation and will only bring them to mediation and take them with him at the end. The better practice, and the better mediators require, parties to have attorneys involved from the start of the mediation so that both parties are fully informed about the law and the process and so that any imbalance of power can be rectified with an attorney protecting the weaker party.

There is no doubt that mediation and other methods of alternate dispute resolution can be a good thing.  That said, I have often seen mediations result in a "settlement", but one where the disadvantaged spouse got a "deal" that was neither fair nor reasonable, if not unconscionable. The problem in these cases is that often, once there is an "agreement", the person that got the great deal refuses to concede anything. Thus, a method meant to avoid litigation can often create litigation.

 

 

READ MARK ASHTON'S INTERESTING POST ENTITLED "MEDIATE, ARBITRATE, NEGOTIATE: WHAT'S A CLIENT TO DO?"

Mark Ashton, a partner in our Exton, Pennsylvania office, and the editor of the firm's Pennsylvania Family Law blog, wrote an interesting post on that blog entitled Mediate, Arbitrate, Negotiate:  What's a Client to Do?" To read the post, click here.

Mark's blog entry goes through the options of alternate dispute resolution.  Like Pennsylvania, in New Jersey, there is very limited review of an arbitrator's decision.  However, parties can agree to an appeals type process.  However, that appeal would be to a trial court, not the Appellate Division as we recently learned in the reported case of Hoogoboom.  Moreover, in New Jersey, you can mediate, but you cannot arbitrate custody and parenting time disputes.

Also, in my experience, arbitrations are very much like trials with the arbitrator serving as the judge.  While you can agree to relax the rules of evidence and the arbitrator, under the arbitration act can choose to relax the rules, most often unless people agree to proceed in some kind of summary format, an arbitration proceeds in the same manner as a trial in a Court would.

That said, the benefits of an arbitration noted in Mark's post are the same.

SOME TIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY A CASE

Several months ago, I posted a blog entry entitled "All Cases Have a Life of Their Own"  To view that entry click here.  The premise was that while most cases settle, they usually will not settle until both parties are ready, emotionally and otherwise, to move on.  That may be the case even if a party's best case resolution is on the table from the outset.  If they are not ready to settle at that time, they will not.

In a more rare occasion, a party is never ready emotionally to settle and a case just has to get tried.  That is unfortunately the case in a matter that I have that is going to trial next week.  Because of the other party's mind set, my adversary has for many months told me that the case would be tried.  He did not tell me this as a threat or to get leverage - just as a fact.  In fact, a settlement proposal we made has been pending for about a year without a response.  In addition, no bona fide efforts were made by the other side to settle at either the Early Settlement Panel, mandatory economic mediation or the Intensive Settlement Conference.  During the party's recent deposition, he said that "it was too late" to settle, once my client hired an attorney. 

Obviously, this is no consolation to my client who has been eager to try to resolve this matter from the start.   Hopefully, the remedy will be a generous award of counsel fees at the end of the trial to compensate my client for having to endure the husband's conduct which has been nothing short of unreasonable, if not bad faith.

Pet Peeve - People Who Use Custody and Parenting Time Issues as Bargaining Chip for Financial Issues

One of my pet peeves is litigants and lawyers that use custody and parenting time issues as a bargaining chip to get better a better financial settlement.  I have several matters ongoing now where that is occurring.

In a recent case, both in negotiations between the parties directly, and in negotiations with opposing counsel, we were told that the proposed resolution of a hotly contested parenting time issue for far less than had been demanded was fine but only as part of a global settlement including the finances.  Put another way, they were only going to resolve visitation if my client made financial concessions.  The bad faith of the tactic was evident.

In fact,  in New Jersey, there is really little interplay between the parenting time and the finances other than some child support adjustments made for the number of overnight visits.  This does not even really come into play in high income cases that exceed the Child Support Guidelines.  That said, since parenting time and custody issues are based upon the best interests of the children, most would agree that you should not negotiate these issues based upon money.  However, it comes up all to frequently, often to the detriment of the children and at a great financial and emotional cost to the parties. 

The system in New Jersey is set up to try to smoke out and resolve these bogus parenting and custody issues early in the case.  At the outset of a case, the parties are required to attend a Parent Education program given by each county.  After that, the parties are required to go to mandatory custody and parenting time mediation, usually with Court staff, unless there is a domestic violence restraining order in effect.  Only then, do you get into custody and parenting evaluations with experts, etc.  Also, this is all completed at the outset of the process, long before discovery is over, and often before it is even started in earnest.

A familiar scenario of the bad faith custody dispute that I have seen a fair amount as of late is as follows:  one parent is the traditional stay at home parent - the other is the Type A executive type that leaves the home at 6 a.m. and doesn't return home until 7 p.m.  Sometimes, that person travels substantially for business as well.  The stay at home parent has been responsible for all medical and dental visits, haircuts, play dates, teacher conferences, etc. The divorce starts and the  parent that works out of the home demands either custody or a 50-50 parenting arrangement. 

In these cases, absent mental health issues or other extraneous circumstances, the demand is one that is typically made either because there are control issues or as a bargaining chip.  That is not to say that there are not times where this parent should not get custody, because there are and I have gotten custody for these types of parents. 

That said, when these issues are made for bargaining, if the matter does not settle in mediation, the next step is custody evaluations by a forensic psychologist. If the parties cannot agree on a joint expert or the Court does not appoint one expert, there can be two experts.  The children are now made part of the process and have to meet with the expert several times.  Their teachers may be contacted.  Their doctors and therapists may be contacted.  The parties' therapists may be contacted.  Other collateral sources may be contacted (neighbors, coaches, family members, etc.)  The price to pay on the family, aside from the legal and expert fees, is high - especially when the issue is for bargaining only.

Don't get me wrong.  I understand that there are good faith custody and parenting disputes that require this process.  While the toll is still the same, that may be unavoidable.  However, if the issue is not a "real" one, I would hope that people would not use it improperly as a bargaining chip.  The collateral damage may be great.

CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME A NUMBER?!?

Previously I blogged about the fact that cases have a life of their own and will only settle when both parties are ready.  As I was trying to settle a case today that is scheduled to start trial in Morris County next week, I was reminded of a related issue.

In this case, we have had a hard time getting the other side to negotiate.  They have taken a position that we don't think is reasonable nor supported by the facts or the law.  That said, we have made proposals to try to resolve the case.  In fact, at each time we have been required to negotiate (at the Early Settlement Panel, mandatory economic mediation (several sessions) and at an Intensive Settlement Conference), we have made proposals.  In some ways, it was against my normal practice to not bid against myself, but the client wanted to at least try to stir some movement. 

At each point, rather than provide a counter proposal, the other side has tried to wow us with, to put it nicely, "fuzzy math" in order to justify why they are right and we are wrong.  They have never, however, moved off of their proposal on support in any significant way. 

I finally had to tell the opposing counsel to just give me a number without the explanation or argument because I wasn't going to buy their theory, ever, and the theory didn't make a difference if the number was acceptable.

In fact, this is not unusual when trying to settle matters.  That is, sometimes the theories and explanations will bog things down.  The bottom line is that if  the parties agree on the number or a certain resolution of a non-financial issue, in many instances, it matters not at all how or why you got to that number.  In fact, the explanation may just start the argument again. 

Sometimes, it is more important to just give a number than explain how you got there.  If the number is fair and within the realm of reason, and the parties can live with it, it is sometimes better to be settled then win the debate which may only prove more costly.

Mediation - A Closer Look

While statistically, 99% of all cases settle, some cases take longer than others to get there.  Moreover, some cases require the assistance of a third party to help one or both party or attorney get past whatever it is that is holding the case up from resolving itself.

I, for one, have been skeptical of mediation in a number settings.  The first is at the onset of a complex matter where one party is pushing for mediation and there hasn't even been the most basic exchange of information at that time, much less formal discovery.  I have even seen cases where the party with the documents will not provide them in advance of mediation and will only bring them to mediation and take them with him at the end.  The second setting that gives me cause for pause is when parties attend mediation without counsel and there is a great imbalance of power between the parties (consistent with the imbalance of power that permeated the parties' relationship).  In these instances, unless there is a strong mediator that will protect the disadvantaged spouse, I have often seen such mediations result in a "settlement", but one where the disadvantaged spouse got a "deal" that was neither fair nor reasonable, if not unconscionable.  The problem in these cases is that often, once there is an "agreement", the person that got the great deal refuses to concede anything.  Thus, a method meant to avoid litigation can often create litigation. 

However, in this day and age in New Jersey, the court mandates mediation at two junctures of the case (unless there is a domestic violence restraining order.)  The first is early on in the case when the parties go to custody and parenting time mediation conducted by court staff.  This is meant to ferret out the true custody dispute.  That said, I make sure that my client is prepared before they attend this mediation because it often results in a resolution of the issues and I want that resolution to be one that my client actually has considered in advance and is comfortable with.  As such, we often prepare a parenting plan, in advance, which deals with the regular parenting time, legal custody, holidays, vacations, etc.

The second mandatory mediation is economic mediation which takes place after an Early Settlement Panel.  Attorneys usually are required to attend with clients.  This is often the time when a case that is more than your run of the mill case will settle.  By this time, it is expected that most, if not all of your discovery will be done. Unlike the Early Settlement Panel where the panelists have a short time to consider the issues, the mediator can spend more time to flesh them out and more importantly, facilitate a dialogue and negotiation. 

In some cases, the impartial voice of the mediator helps one or both parties get past an issue that they are stuck on.  Put another way, when either the client's attorney has told the client time an again of a probable result, or if the attorney is presenting the strongest position regarding an issue as an advocate, the mediator, who has no axe to grind, may be just what is necessary to put the issue to bed.  In other cases that I have seen, sometimes one of the attorneys doesn't handle exclusively family law matters and/or is otherwise less confident.  In these cases, the mediator essentially can let the attorney know that the deal is fair.

I have been involved in cases where the parties were more than $20 million apart and seemed headed for a trial that would have lasted several months.  However, after 8 to 10 days of hard work at mediation, the case settled, saving both parties tens if not hundreds of thousands in legal and expert fees that would have been incurred at a trial.

The bottom line is that most people truly want to settle their cases in a fair way.  We always hear anecdotally that cases that settle come back to court far less often than cases that are tried.  We also hear that people that settle their cases are far more satisfied with the result than if they tried the case.  In a trial, the litigant gives up control of their life to a judge that doesn't know them and will only hear bits and pieces of their story - along with the hundreds of other cases they have.  Mediation with a skilled mediator, where the playing field is level, the parties both have all necessary information and the imbalance of power is kept in check, is excellent way to keep control of your life and resolve your matter in a fair and beneficial way.

Check back for future entries regarding arbitration and trial practice.  While most cases do settle, if litigation is required, we are skilled at handling matters that require a trial, as well.